Zach

Be prepared if you're going to read this, that it's long and it's just mostly ramblings of what's in my mind and I just needed to get it all out and want to remember all this for later as well. :)

I know some of you know, and some don't that Zach has been having a rough few weeks concerning his health. I'm gonna give you the whole story. About two weeks ago Monday, he was saying that his throat was really hurting- not the inside, but the outside. He said it was hard to explain, but that it was pretty uncomfortable. He continued on, and by Wednesday after work, he came home with a fever, and was really hurting. He went to urgent care, and they said he had strep throat, a sinus infection and an ear infection. Triple threat, bummer. So they gave him antibiotics and pain meds (which he hates to take either, but ended up taking both because he felt so crummy). By Saturday, he was not any better, in fact he was much worse. It was like he was a different guy, he was just in a lot of pain, couldn't sleep, was sweating like crazy, and his throat hurt so very bad. It hurt to swallow, hurt to eat, and just plain hurt. Plus he told me that his urine had turned a very dark orange. That was alarming to me, so we decided to go back to urgent care. My wonderful mom took the kids for me, and we found out that his urine had bilirubin in it, which means his liver was not doing well probably from the meds he was taking. The dr. said that the augmentin they gave him coupled with the pain meds that had tylenol in them, for some people, is too hard on the liver. So she said she wanted him to try a different "more liver friendly" antibiotic (keflex) and pain medicine (hydrocodone with ibuprofen). They also drew blood to check his liver and TSH (part of the thyroid function). We still haven't gotten the results of that back yet.

Then Monday we saw a great family practice dr that we were referred to by one of our favorite Dr's, Dr Katherine Worden, from Midwestern University (LOVE this place, and would recommend it to ANYONE- the OMM clinic). We went and saw Dr Eric Limkemann, who is a graduate of Midwestern University. He took lots of time with us, and by the end I felt like he truly cared about figuring out what's going on with Zach. He took Zach off hte hydrocodone, and gave him a shot of prednisone (a steroid) to help with the inflammation of his neck and head. He had us get blood drawn, to do a full work up on his thyroid and metabolic panel as well. We got the results back last Friday, and he has a significant hyperthyroid issue going on. Now he wants him to see an endocrinologist to find out the cause. He said if it's a tumor, they will remove it and he will be hypothyroid, and be on medication the rest of his life, and if it's something else they may use radio active iodine and destroy it, and that would render him hypothyroid as well, being on medication for that as well.
Ok, so that explains why he has lost 10 lbs in the last 10 days. Which, for Zach, that is NOT exciting. I know for most of us, that would be, but for him, not so much.


 Here's the part that I think is the hardest for him. He's been experiencing intense heart palpitations, followed by shots of what feel like electricity down into his stomach, then causing his stomach to be upset. He for some time has had joint pain, dry grainy feeling eyes, fatigue, weak muscles when he exercises or lifts weights, it's been difficult for him to eat because it still hurts to swallow, a hoarse voice by the end of the day, he was having this intense sweating even when he's sitting still that has since subsided- but still happens on and off, he struggles with feeling motivation to do anything, feelings of depression, and just overall feeling not himself and "off" if you will. He doesn't get much sleep, which I know doesn't help things, and his diet could be much better as well. He also gets sick what seems like all the time. He's also had a few instances where his eye has swollen shut 3 times in the last year- the opthamologist told him its probably just allergies. He also has very bad allergies, has sinus type drainage and congestion most of the time, and even had a fainting spell about 6 months ago, where he ended up cracking a rib. His bones seem brittle to me as well as he's broken his wrist twice in the last 4 years. All these things now seem very obvious of hyperthyroid now that I've been researching it. And most of you know me, I'm just like my mom- if someone I care about is going through something, I'm going to research the snot out of it. So here we are...

I was hoping we could get into the endocrinologist today, but I'm learning that's not how sepcialist offices work. One office I called said they are booking new patient appointments in June. Next... another could see him Feb 9th, and the soonest one could see him Feb 6th, next Monday. Sigh... how will he get through another week of these heart palpitations? It just breaks my heart to see him so winded and looking so thin and "sick". I'm just ready for answers, and for us to get on the right track.

I'm finding that we can do a lot with our diet to help his body, and if this is autoimmune related (and not a tumor- "it's NOT a tumor!" (from Kindergarten Cop... love that line), then we're thinking about the option of seeing a naturopathic endocrinologist. We found one in Scottsdale who is also a medical dr, so I love that idea. Best of both worlds. We will see, we're just exploring all the options. Because at the moment, we do have time on our side. A week to wait. A week seems like an eternity when there's a health concern without answers. I never understood the worries or "butterflies" in the stomach awaiting answers about health, and now I am beginning to understand. I'm not going to lie (most of you know me pretty well, so it would be silly to try), I have a tendency to worry about everything. I had OCD as a child, and even took medication for it, which helped, and now as an adult it seems to flare up during stressful times. Much like this one. My mind tends to go to the end of "what if Zach has a tumor, it's cancer, and it's spread all over, and he's going to die. Then I'm left with 4 kids under 6, no degree, and having to figure out how to provide for us all... and more importantly, the kids and I won't have Zach. What then? I can't fathom. But for the last few days, I've been right on the verge of tears because it seems that we're coming in contact with all these people who are sick, know someone who is sick, someone who just died, etc. So of course, I'm thinking, ok- God, you must be preparing me for this. You're prepping me.

The idea that God is in control, I can hold onto that. Then I go to, ok, yes God is in control, but His plans aren't my plans. So I don't know if His plans include Zach getting better and us living the happy life I plan for us all to live together- and for Zach and I to grow old together... but then I just have to stop and know that I can't even try to understand God or His ways. I just have to know that He loves me, He loves Zach, and His plan is perfect. He will continue to show us the way, to guide us, and that in the end He will get the glory. I may not know what that looks like, but it's okay. I actually can rest in that. And this life here on earth is NOT what Life is really all about. This is litearlly the very beginning of eternity. But my earthly mind can't quite wrap itself around that idea very well. (Mom and Dad, I'm sure you're reading this thinking it's crazy to worry about all this because it's an easy fix, and even if it was a tumor, the thyroid is a great place to get one because it can easily be removed. I know, you're right. But you know me. :))

In all this, Zach's prayer is to see Him in it all. I know His hand is in it all, and I'm ready to begin to seek that, rather than worry about the "what ifs". So that's the next step in this journey. And to re-begin the journey of having an attitude of gratitude. To see the good in everything.

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."- Romans 8:28