It's Me

So I'm finding out that being a parent is so much more about my attitude than it is about my kids' attitude. Lately, I've had a real struggle with mostly Teda and I- we just butt heads a lot. She can be VERY stubborn and she knows what she wants. And it seems to happen mostly when I'm in a rush to get somewhere, and that frustrates me even more because it makes us late. Well, I had been getting nowhere with her. And it felt like I'd tried everything.... until two Sundays ago. Zach leaves before I do to go to church, so I bring the kids by myself, and that tends to be a stressful time for me. Getting them into their classes before I can get to mine gets me to feeling like I wish I'd never even come. Zach and I were talking that morning, and he suggested that I just try not to worry even if we're running late, and just really focus on her, and try not to let time dictate anything. And if I'm focused on the kids, and not getting annoyed (thus, my attitude plummeting) that they don't seem to be as in a hurry as I am; then maybe they won't seem to give me such a hard time....
So I tried it. I gave myself a little mental pep talk- it's not about being on time, don't worry, just focus on them, have a positive attitude, you love your kids, show them that you love them and care for them... and you know what? It was SO smooth! I was a little late, but it was okay and I ended up having a great day because my attitude was changed. And as my attitude was changed, so was Teda's! It's a novel concept, I have to change me before my kids will change. Here I was trying to change them without looking in the mirror first. Pretty cool! I still struggle each day to keep my attitude in the right place, but now I know how to (sort of) do this whole mommy thing. I know it will be a lifetime of second guessing myself, hoping I'm doing a good job. But this is a good start! :)