Day In The Life

I was just emailing a dear friend, and telling her how things were going. Here's what came out- my fingers just started madly typing. This is my friend who I know I can be bluntly honest with, and she loves and accepts me as I am, no judgement. And even though we only see each other every few years now, it's like we haven't missed a day and that we've lived across the street from each other all along. I love friends like that! I'm so thankful for her and I very selfishly wish she didn't live in another country. :( After I finished typing, I decided I wanted this on my blog because this describes real life for me right now as a new mommy of 4, trying to figure out how to do all that I have to without losing my mind. I know I will, because I felt super overwhelmed after I had each child, and it did get better. If it didn't we wouldn't have 4 kids! But I have to warn you- it's a lot, and it may take you on a ride... This was our morning...

I've been running hard and fast since my feet hit the floor from my bed this morning (before that really, since the boys came and woke me up!)... take Dane and Teda to school, take Deklan to his 2 month check up (he's growing- 9lb 4oz, yea! He's on the charts now- 3rd percentile, but he made the charts! oh but he had to have FIVE shots and one oral vaccination for the rotavirus. Doesn't that seem like a lot of shots to you? WOW, I wasn't sure what to think and it was too late once I decided to have an opionin about it. ugh. anyways), then drive through sonic and grab a burger for jett and dane oh and a diet coke with double vanilla for me (yup, i'm THAT mom right now...), back to school to pick up dane from school, off to walmart to pick up similac formula (the only kind he will really take right now), and a few other things and lo and behold... the shelves have NO similac on them- I said out loud, you've gotta be kidding me! the only formula i need, the really only reason i took all three boys into the store just before their nap time, and it's been recalled. (i guess they found a beetle in one of the cans- yucky...but still!). then it was race to the checkout lane while deklan screams because he's pooped and hates to sit in it (I don't blame him), then dane gives jett a car to play with while we wait in line... i take it away and he screams. now two screaming boys. i'm ignoring the stares i'm getting from the people behind me as i pay for my things in two separate orders since i'm trying to be good and stay in my budget and use my dave ramsey-ish envelopes.....and the lady who's checking me out as i'm price matching my pears and milk, but she can't hear me over my boys- what she says? i just repeat it calmly, and on the inside i want to scream, run home and crawl in my bed and REST. then we drive home, i get all the groceries in, put jett and dane in the bath to wash off after germy school and drs office, get them down for naps, finally get to deklan and discover his poopy diaper, feed him while checking emails, get to eat my lunch, figure out if my last can of similac was one of the ones recalled (it's not, good- glad to know my son didn't drink a beetle), warn my boys that if they don't stay in their rooms for rest time (for my sanity!) they'll be punished.... and now here I am. Wow, that tires me out just looking at it. it's crazy right now. it feels like someone pressed fast forward on our life, and we're ready for them to take their finger off. zach is in the same boat at work, then at home of course too. but in the middle of it all, i know Jesus is right here with us. we just are working on finding out how to rest in him, in the midst of the fast-ness of life. it's hard, but i know it can be done.

What's the answer? These things I did today were all things that I had to do. They weren't things we could avoid and just stay home, like I wanted to! I know we will adjust, I'm just not sure when or how. I don't want to get used to this fast paced life. I want things to slow down. Do we need to move to a slower city to do that? Or maybe Dane doesn't need to be in preschool? That's the one thing I'm thinking I may change. Oh I don't know. Grocery trips once Zach gets home? But then I sacrifice being with him. What gives? That question remains unanswered. I will be praying about this.

I will say that there is no one I'd rather run this race with than my husband and best friend, Zach. We're a team, and that is a huge plus. I know it won't always be like this. This stage of life I would venture to say is the most physically demanding one we've hit thus far. And once Deklan is sleeping through the night, I think we'll feel like a new woman and a new man, ready to take on the world. Or at least just continue to put one foot in front of the other- only we won't feel like walking zombies. And I have to say too that in the midst of all this "haze", there are so many fun and incredible moments. We wouldn't have it any other way- our kids are so amazing, and Zach's job is something that he can see himself doing for a long time. It's just a lot right now.

I feel like I've been a downer lately when I write my real thoughts. Sorry if you read this and feel sad afterwards. It's not my intention. This is like a journal for me, and it's somewhere I can go to just let it out. I don't want to be this way, I want to be able to write only the happy and positive things that go on. But this is us right now. The real us.

There will come a time when the memories of being this tired and weary will be just distant and fuzzy memories- I hope. But then when we start to think, that wasn't so bad- let's have another child---- if anyone hears me say that, point me back to this post! :)