Last Friday afternoon, we were on our way home from picking up Teda from school. She really has a hard time with Dane lately- he really likes to say hi to all her friends in her class. He's just a social little boy, and wants to feel like he's a part of things. She does not like this one bit. She'll tell him, Dane you don't even know them. Why do you always have to say hi to them? His reply is that he doesn't know them, but he knows their names.... good point. All that to say, she wasn't really excited to get in the car and be with all of us. I think she enjoys her space, and having her own thing at school. At school, she doesn't have little brothers getting into her stuff, trying to do everything she does, and just invading her "bubble"... so yes, she was just in a mood. She ended up getting really emotional and just crying non-stop and even doing this new high pitched scream that she started when she gets really worked up (yeah, it's lovely especially when we're in the van) the whole way home. It got to where she probably didn't even remember what got her upset in the first place, and the boys were covering their ears and asking her to be quiet.
I was doing my best to keep it together and not scream at her to stop screaming... huh, you like the logic? Oh, I SO wanted to. Okay, I did once- it was the very beginning of our ride home- I thought maybe I could nip it if I just yelled "stop it!" Woops, that didn't work at all. I was trying everything under the sun to get her to be quiet. I tried being very firm and authoritative- if you don't stop, then I'm going to put you to bed early. Teda, you're hurting everyone's ears, that's not very nice. Teda, please stop!! Pulling the car over and talking to her... but to be honest, I was totally in my flesh and was so annoyed that she came home from school and was such a hot mess. I kept saying with my words, I know you've had a long day and you don't feel well (her asthma was acting up with a cold she had), but we've all had a long day. I wasn't really sorry she had a long day- I just wanted quiet.
ANYWAYS, we finally got home after what seemed like an hour (15 minutes of a loud car ride home will do that to ya). I was headed in the direction of "go to your room and don't come out until you're calm", when I decided to start over and try something different. I asked her if she'd like to take a bubble bath and relax. She said yes, and I explained that after I've had a long hard day, I like to do this and it helps me. I turned on some Hillary Duff music for her, and herded the boys out of my room so she could have some privacy. They totally didn't think that was cool, but I explained that sometimes girls just need time alone and that's okay. So we let her have her space, relaxing in the tub with some music playing. About 10 minutes later, she called for me and asked if she could get out and dance. Absolutely! So that's what she did for a few minutes after her bath- she just danced around to the music. I just thought that was too cute- once she was relaxed and calm, she was listening to the music and it had a great beat, so the only thing left to do was get out and dance!
Now some of you may or may not know this, but dancing and me do not get along. And I've tried to figure this out- why is that? I don't like this about myself because I would love to have the type of confidence it takes to just hop out of the bath and dance. (I can't even dance alone with myself- isn't that crazy!?). And Zach LOVES to dance, so that's so sad to me that I won't dance with him even. I think it's a few reasons. I went to a Christian school through middle school, so no school dances there. Then in high school, I did go to the dances. I will never forget at one of them, my "best friend" and I were dancing in a group and she made fun of me and the way I was dancing. I had already been nervous and self conscious about it (and she totally knew that), so when she made fun of me, I think subconsciously I decided I'd never do that again. So even when on the inside, all I want to do is get up and dance my heart out, I literally feel like I have bricks tied to my feet and I can't do it. It's crazy. I hate it. Absolutely hate it. I don't know the answer of how to reverse that either- how to overcome this dance-less-ness in me. And I don't know how I got to talking about this from talking about my sweet little daughter.
I just LOVE that she can dance with all her might, and I want her to always do that. I want her to always have the confidence and courage to dance, and not care a thing about what others say.
I was doing my best to keep it together and not scream at her to stop screaming... huh, you like the logic? Oh, I SO wanted to. Okay, I did once- it was the very beginning of our ride home- I thought maybe I could nip it if I just yelled "stop it!" Woops, that didn't work at all. I was trying everything under the sun to get her to be quiet. I tried being very firm and authoritative- if you don't stop, then I'm going to put you to bed early. Teda, you're hurting everyone's ears, that's not very nice. Teda, please stop!! Pulling the car over and talking to her... but to be honest, I was totally in my flesh and was so annoyed that she came home from school and was such a hot mess. I kept saying with my words, I know you've had a long day and you don't feel well (her asthma was acting up with a cold she had), but we've all had a long day. I wasn't really sorry she had a long day- I just wanted quiet.
ANYWAYS, we finally got home after what seemed like an hour (15 minutes of a loud car ride home will do that to ya). I was headed in the direction of "go to your room and don't come out until you're calm", when I decided to start over and try something different. I asked her if she'd like to take a bubble bath and relax. She said yes, and I explained that after I've had a long hard day, I like to do this and it helps me. I turned on some Hillary Duff music for her, and herded the boys out of my room so she could have some privacy. They totally didn't think that was cool, but I explained that sometimes girls just need time alone and that's okay. So we let her have her space, relaxing in the tub with some music playing. About 10 minutes later, she called for me and asked if she could get out and dance. Absolutely! So that's what she did for a few minutes after her bath- she just danced around to the music. I just thought that was too cute- once she was relaxed and calm, she was listening to the music and it had a great beat, so the only thing left to do was get out and dance!
Now some of you may or may not know this, but dancing and me do not get along. And I've tried to figure this out- why is that? I don't like this about myself because I would love to have the type of confidence it takes to just hop out of the bath and dance. (I can't even dance alone with myself- isn't that crazy!?). And Zach LOVES to dance, so that's so sad to me that I won't dance with him even. I think it's a few reasons. I went to a Christian school through middle school, so no school dances there. Then in high school, I did go to the dances. I will never forget at one of them, my "best friend" and I were dancing in a group and she made fun of me and the way I was dancing. I had already been nervous and self conscious about it (and she totally knew that), so when she made fun of me, I think subconsciously I decided I'd never do that again. So even when on the inside, all I want to do is get up and dance my heart out, I literally feel like I have bricks tied to my feet and I can't do it. It's crazy. I hate it. Absolutely hate it. I don't know the answer of how to reverse that either- how to overcome this dance-less-ness in me. And I don't know how I got to talking about this from talking about my sweet little daughter.
I just LOVE that she can dance with all her might, and I want her to always do that. I want her to always have the confidence and courage to dance, and not care a thing about what others say.
2 comments:
You are such a good mama, Lisa! :) Nothing makes you feel better than a bubble bath after a long day!
I am not a big dancer myself so I can totally relate. I would write more-kids screaming....
lisa, i love this post. i love you. and i love you are confident enough to share that story about high school and dancing. i can't wait to dance with you, maybe it will be in heaven! :) or africa :)
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