OH, and also, this is huge too- Dane is potty trained now! It's been about a week and a half that he's been wearing underwear, and he's doing so amazing! And last night, he even wore underwear all night and stayed dry. It's just so exciting for me- I've been dreading potty training him for so long, and yes, he still has a few accidents here and there, but we're done with diapers- and that has a nice ring to it. And we're now being intentional about telling him that we love him whether he has accidents or not- accidents happen, and that's okay. That seems to be a much better, healthier, and more successful route than the one I was headed down of making him feel bad for having accidents. I was feeling like, "He totally knows how to go in the potty, why is he doing this?" and "This is so gross!" (well, I still do think that). So I'd tell him that he's not allowed to go in his underwear anymore and that it's not fun for mommy to clean up. So awful even to type, I'm ashamed for making him feel bad about it. So he's feeling much more loved and taken care of, and I think he's having less accidents to show for it. And it feels so much better in my spirit to love him through an accident, rather than get mad. No one wins when mommy gets mad. I'm beginning to learn that.
Like yesterday, here's an example. I took the boys with me to go look at a house with our realtor and her daughter. (Teda got to spend the night with Lydia at my aunt's house- Lydia is my cousin's daughter- this was her first sleep over without her brother or grandma- woah!) Anyways, after we looked at the house, we were standing outside of it, talking. And I saw Dane bend over and look at his legs, and they were shiny and wet. Uh oh. And my realtor didn't realize he had underwear on and said something about his diaper being on tight enough, or was it Jett? And I said, no, I think Dane peed. And her daughter, who is about 9, started laughing. Not to be mean, I think she just was suprised and that's what she does when she's uncomfortable- normal for a 9 year old. But still, Dane was embarrased. He turned to me, put his head in between my legs, and just hugged me- then he looked up and said, "You still love me..." Oh sweet boy, I said, "Of course I do! It was just an accident. It's okay Buddy." And I took him to the car to get cleaned up. He seemed sad, and I asked him if he was okay, and he said, "Yeah." Not convincing. So I asked him if he was embarrased, and he said yeah. I told him I love him so much, and that it was just an accident and it's okay. And that I'm so proud of him. He told me, "And I love you too." It was such a cool moment for us. And had I not been learning the importance of loving him, even when he has accidents (silly that I have to learn something like that- shouldn't I just do it?), we wouldn't have been able to have that moment. And he would've felt even worse for what happened. Good times. I'm so grateful that God allowed Dane and I to connect like that yesterday. And cross our fingers that he doesn't revert back, and we may be down to only having one set of diapers to change!!!
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